Day 4 - Sonogram

Today begins the first real step toward my second cycle. I went in for my day 3 (on day 4) ultrasound and my ovaries look good, so tomorrow I start my 5 days of clomid in order to promote ovulation. It's so weird because I am bleeding because of my period, and they still do this vaginal ultrasound. Oh well.

Day 32 - BFN

So, today ends the first cycle. I am officially not pregnant and I need to go through the process again. This morning I went to the clinic to have my blood work done. Basically, if I had any trace of the pregnancy hormone (hCG) in my system, it would have shown on this test. So, my appointment was at 8am. I told the lab tech that I didn't have good vibes about this cycle, but she insisted that I should. Anyway... I went again, had my blood drawn, and when I got to work, I went to the bathroom around 11:30am, and I had started bleeding. So, I knew, before they called me with the results that I would be getting no positive news about this cycle.

My call came in while I was in a meeting, so I picked up the message on the answering machine, but I didn't get the chance to speak with my nurse directly. Hopefully the next cycle will be better. At least I'll know not to read too deep into the signals my body is sending. Although, I now feel like the cramping I've had throughout the progesterone part of the process was my period coming on and not my body going through implantation and all of the other things that would cause cramping.

Wish me luck as I go through this stressful hell once again.

Day 27 - Cramping totally gone

So, my cramping is totally gone and it's starting to worry me.  I guess it's possible that days 21 through 24 were part of implantation, but, I'm not sure.  After day 25, my cramping went away.  I spoke to my best friend who is a pediatrician, and she told me that all of these symptoms could just be my body adjusting to the hormones I've been taking.  I've been reading like every pregnancy blog, and I swear all of my symptoms and the timing of them are totally in line with what happens during conception, but maybe I'm just psyching myself out.  Because I want to be pregnant, I'm projecting the symptoms on myself? Not sure. 

I will tell you, the reason I am most hopeful right now is because I had that period of cramping (about 3 days) and it was not followed by a period (AF), so, I'm hopeful.  Any time in the past when I've had cramping like that, I've had my period.  So... here's hoping for the best.  I still have another 5 and a half days before my pregnancy test.  I've taken 3 at home, all negative.  And while I admit the first two were wasted (it was too early for the hCG hormone to even be present), the third (last night) probably could have gone either way.  Also, I've not used an early detection test.  So, while all the tests tell me no, they are urine tests, and my test on Thursday will be a blood test.  So, that'll be the real indicator.

I'm not feeling very optimistic about being pregnant right now, but I'm still hopeful...if that makes any sense.

Day 24 -More Cramping

Tonight, CBS is showing a program called "The Beatles: The Night that Changed America" and I cannot even enjoy it because of the lower back pain and slight cramping I am experiencing.  I will have to try to catch it another time.  I must retire to bed now.

Day 24 - Cramping at 3am

Early this morning, I suffered from some cramping.  It felt like my menses was about to start (in a day or two), but I've been reading that the symptoms of implantation (when the fertilized egg affixes itself to the lining) are similar to the pre-menses symptoms.  So, I'm still hopeful.  Also, the timing is right for implantation.

Implantation is supposed to occur 6 - 12 days post ovulation.  So, if my ovulation was on Wednesday and Thursday of last week, and today is Wednesday, it's in line. 

I really hope I'm not reading into these things more than they are.  I mean, I might be, but I'm ultimately trying to stay positive and hope that this first cycle is a success.

I did read some discouraging facts that I was unaware of prior to my IUI.  So, in a natural (not doctor assisted) procreation cycle, a male is likely to provide his female counterpart with upwards of 500 million sperm which are all fighting to take the 10 hour journey from the vagina to the egg and penetrate the egg for fertilization.   Only about 400 of those survive the journey into the uterus, and then 1 lucky one smashes through the egg's membrane to start fertilization.  The egg lasts 24 hours and the sperm can live up to 3 days (or something like that).

My IUI left me with 27 million sperm swimming toward my egg.  The big difference is, they don't have to travel 10 hours to get to my egg.  They're placed close to my egg, so they just have to try to fight through the membrane to fertilize the egg.  But, they only live about 10 hours (being previously frozen), which gives them only that long to get up on my egg!

So, while I'm discouraged because of the quantity issue, I do have really good sperm, so, I'm hopeful.  And, timing is on my side.  So, I'm extremely hopeful that this cramping is from implantation and not menstruation.

Fingers crossed!

Day 21 - Cramping and Progestrone

So, I'm starting to believe that I am not pregnant and that this cycle will result in a negative test.  I am having cramping right now.  I am taking the progesterone pills twice a day, vaginally, but I will stop if my period begins because that should be the sign that the pregnancy did not take. 

I'm still hoping for a positive test, and I actually have 5 home pregnancy tests in my possession.  I will take my own on Thursday (day 25... 1 week after second insemination) if I haven't gotten my period, but, the cramping I feel now seems pretty par for the course with my period about to come down.

Day 18 - Second IUI

This morning I had my second IUI.  The donor sample was even better than the first one.  Here are the numbers:

• The vial I got was frozen on 12/21/12 (same date as first vial)
• Concentration = 60 (above standard of 20) YAY!
• Motility = 51% (above standard of 40%) YAY!!!!
• Progression (speed) = 3-4+  (1 is slow, 4 is rapid linear) YAY!!!!
• Total Motile Sperm = 17 million YAY!!!!

The nurse had to insert the speculum twice because my cervix retracted after the first one.  So, this insemination took twice as long, a whole 2 minutes. :)

Prior to the IUI, I hadn't had cramps since last night, but today, I feel different.  Here are my symptoms:

• gas (yes, I cannot stop passing gas)
• minor cramping on the right
• extremely minor cramping on the left
• headache (which I think is due to dehydration, not anything else)
• stomach bloating

Tomorrow I begin to take the progesterone pills vaginally, twice a day.  My plan is 8am and 8pm.  I've set my MediSafe app alarm to remind me twice a day at those times. 

One thing I forgot was that I'm going to have to take the progrestrone for 8 additional weeks after my pregnancy test if my test is positive. 

I'll tell you, my body definitely feels different.  I am guessing it's all the hormones.  I'm hoping for good news in 2 weeks!

Day 18 - Morning Before 2nd IUI

So, I haven't had any craping since early evening yesterday. But, this morning, I had to burp and it felt like a little bit of puke was about to come out. I was feeling a slight bit nauseous for about 3 minutes, but things seem fine now. I'm worried that all of my ovulation has already occurred because I no longer have the cramps I had over the last 2 days. I also have some gas, which is listed as a side effect of Ovidrel.

I think the cramping signs have been extremely helpful to me staying motivated. I mean, normally I'd be concerned about cramping, but after being probed so many times over the last 12 days, it's quite apparent that cramping is on my side. It tells me that something is happening. I was actually cramping immediately after the first IUI.

I guess in 2 weeks, if I have cramping again, I'll know that the cycle wasn't successful as it means I'm about to get my flow. Fingers crossed.

Day 17 - First IUI

So, last night, there was a really bad ice storm here, and I elected to work from home since I had my appointment in the afternoon.  I didn't care to be slipping and sliding (or worse) all over the county.  I had to call at noon to get them to defrost and "wash" my donor sample.  When I called, the clinic made me verify all of my personal details (before thawing the sample) including the donor number.  (I passed)

I showed up around 12:45pm at the clinic and it was empty.  I am so used to seeing a full waiting room in the morning (the monitoring appointment slots) that I didn't really know what to do.  I had the place to myself practically.  A few people from the back came out to wait for their next step, but it really was that empty.  Maybe it was the weather, not sure.  But, I was glad because it meant I wouldn't be waiting long.

Around 12:55pm,  they called me to the back where I had to show a photo id and then they started to tell me about the quality of my donor sample.  They said that it was an extremely good sample for a donor sample.  Here's the run down:

• The vial I got was frozen on 12/21/12 (is that a lucky number somewhere?)
• Concentration = 40 (above standard of 20) YAY!
• Motility = 58% (above standard of 40%) YAY!!!!
• Progression (speed) = 2-3+  (1 is slow, 4 is rapid linear) YAY!
• Total Motile Sperm = 10 million YAY!

So, I got the procedure done around 1:05pm and it took about 1 minute for the whole thing to be over. 

I laid down on the table for about 7 or 8 minutes, then I put my clothes on and went about my business. No pain. 

I have been having cramping since taking the Ovidrel, but I think it's just from the ovulation.  I haven't had a regular cycle in so long that I sometimes forget about the cramping. 

I have my next IUI tomorrow morning, and I have my pregnancy test scheduled for 8am on February 20th, so I'm trying to keep positive thoughts in my mind until then. Maybe it will help!

Day 17 - Morning of First IUI

So, as you know, last night I took my Ovidrel shot around 5pm, and since this morning, I've been feeling some activity in my right ovary and a little bit of cramping/soreness in my lower back on both sides. It gives me hope that something might happen, but I also look at the whole "this is just my first cycle" situation and I'm okay with it not being a successful cycle. At a minimum, it's gotten me closer to understanding the array of moods that are associated with this process.


I'm ready to get the first IUI done today, and I hope it works out, but I won't be devastated if it doesn't. It's funny because people always say that you should speak positive things into existence, but I'm not really sure I can do that just yet. I'm not jumping around extremely excited, I'm just sort of going with the flow. My mood is changing every day actually. Clearly good news gets me at least a little bit excited, and bad news gets me extremely anxious and discouraged, but overall, I think I've been managing.


  On another note, I weighed myself today, and I'm down 4 pounds since I started the first monitoring appointment. Now, I cannot say that's totally attributed to the stress of the process, because the other change I've made recently is to not eat out for the entire month of February. Meaning, I'm cooking or preparing all of my own meals. Also, since I'm trying to get pregnant, I haven't had anything to drink since January 23rd. So, that might have something to do with it as well. Either way, it's going to help with the process to start shedding some of these extra pounds. Wish me luck today! IUI in 2 hours!

Day 16 - Monitoring Appointment #6

I won't keep you all in suspense... my right ovary follicle is now at 19.9mm! YAY! So, I've been told to make my appointments for my two IUIs and to take the Ovidrel trigger shot tonight. Of course, I don't know what I'm doing in terms of injecting myself, so I've called my mom to do it for me. Hey, she's a registered nurse (retired) so I know she can give a mean shot!

So here's the rest of the info on my current labs:
Estradroid - 263
LH - 27.9
Uterus lining is nice and thick (at least 9mm)

So, I've made my appointments for 1pm tomorrow (Wednesday) and then 10am the following day (Thursday).  And, I've been told to do my Ovidrel shot between 5pm and 6pm today.  So, my mom gave me the shot at 5:15pm today (Tuesday), and my first IUI appointment tomorrow is for 1pm which is 20 hours after the shot. The following IUI insemination is scheduled for 10am on Thursday which is 41 hours after the shot.  So, hopefully one of the two will take.

I've read a few online forums which have told me two things, that frozen specimens, unlike fresh specimen, stay alive for 10 hours (fresh for 3 - 4 days). Then, I've been told that ovulation occurs approximately 24 - 36 hours after taking the Ovidrel trigger.  So, I think this all means my fertilization window is anywhere from 5pm on Wednesday to 8pm on Thursday.

Tomorrow when I go in for my insemination, I'm going to have them report to me on the motility and quantity of the specimen.  If it's not a good specimen, I'll have no problem changing donors for my next cycle.

A side note: I spoke to my friends who have recently conceived through IUI, and I told them how discouraged I've been feeling, and they really helped me to see another perspective.  That being, this is just cycle 1, so your body is getting the signals from the medicines and it's saying... "wait, what is she trying to do here? is she trying to get pregnant?" while later cycles, your body might be saying... "okay, I understand what is going on, she's trying to get pregnant, let's do our job!"  So, if I look at cycle 1 as a primer for the later cycles, basically a cycle to get your body used to changing in these ways, then I won't be so disappointed and discouraged.  And they're right.  I'm already feeling somewhat better, after what I considered to be an utterly dismal day.

Day 15 - Monitoring Appointment #5

The short story... follicles still not ready...

I went in at what is becoming my normal 8am appointment. My blood draw was quite normal in that I didn't bleed out in the chair. My ultra sound went really well too. My nurse, who I haven't seen in a while because of her schedule versus my appointments, did my ultra sound, so that was good. And, the doctor I'd been seeing all weekend was my doctor today.

My largest follicle is now measuring 18.3mm and my lining is really good (around 9mm). My estradroid is on the rise at 247 but my LH is at 9.62 and not surging, so I'm definitely going to need the Ovadril trigger. At my appointment, the doctor told me that I could go ahead and schedule my first IUI for tomorrow and my second one for Wednesday.

I had such joy, when they told me that, but my nurse called me later in the day to tell me that I need to have yet another monitoring appointment (tomorrow) because after taking Clomid, my follicle needs to be closer to 20mm, and it's only at 18.3mm. I don't know how much more of this I can take. In addition to it being somewhat pricy (people normally need only 2 - 3 monitoring sessions), I'm starting to lose hope in this cycle altogether. But, as a trooper... I will be at my appointment at 8am. Honestly, I'm not sure if I can do a monitoring session #7. #6, I'm signed on because of hope, but I don't know if I have it in me to do another one.

My hopes are somewhat dashed right now and I'm starting to get stressed out, which I can only imagine will hurt my follicle growth.  In addition, I think the stress of the situation has caused me to lose about 4 pounds over the last 3 days.  While I'd love to shed a few pounds, I don't want to do it this way. If this cycle results in a pregnancy, it will truly be a miracle child. 

Day 14 - Monitoring Appointment #4

I went in for another monitoring appointment (Ultra Sound and Blood Work) with the hopes that my maturing follicle has finally reached maturation and I can move forward with the ovulation trigger (Ovadril), but that's not the case.  For some reason, my largest follicle (on the right) is stunted around the 16mm mark and one on the left is around the 15mm mark, both is just a little too small to move forward. 

What I've been told is that since my estrogen levels are on the rise, sometimes it just takes time, and that sometimes the growth plateaus and then there's a big boom and the follicles are ready. That was before the blood work came back. Now that the blood work is back, my estradroid is at 194, which is down from 205 yesterday. So, of course I am worried.
At this point, the only thing that looks good is the uterus lining, which is at a healthy 9mm. The nurse said that if I do speak to my doctor tomorrow, he might prescribe an FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormones) injection to get over the hump and get my ovulation started.

I did some internet research and read that I should do a protein load in order to get the estrogen levels up and the follicles matured.  So, today, I'm going to eat a bunch of chicken and eggs and strawberry milk.  (Yeah, I don't drink milk.)

I think the doctor could tell how discouraged I felt at the news.  I am starting to lose hope in this cycle, and if this cycle doesn't result in a pregnancy, I'm going to ask my doctor to prescribe me some FSH injections in order to avoid this next time around. 

I do realize it increases the chances of multiple births, but the way I feel right now, the despair I have, I feel like it would give me peace of mind. 

I have to go back tomorrow morning for yet another monitoring appointment. 

Cold Meds While Waiting for Follicles to Grow

So, late in the evening yesterday, I was at the brink of a cold/flu, and decided to take a dose of Alka Seltzer Cold and Flu Nighttime.  It did the trick (I'm no longer on the brink of coming down with a sever cold and I can breathe normally again) but, now I'm wondering if my stunted follicle growth was at all influenced by the cold meds I took. 

All of the sources I've referenced say that the follicles should be growing at a rate of 2mm per 24 hour period.  So, the fact that my largest follicle has only grown 0.5mm overnight, and I took this anti-histamine type of medication without any consultation has left me wondering if it is my fault.

Day 13 - Monitoring Apptointment #3

This is the first time I've been at the clinic during the weekend.  It's interesting because the crew (the set of techs and nurses and even admin) are all different, and I think it may be the case that only the location that I go to is open on the weekends, so there were a lot more patients, no doubt from the other branches. 

So, I went in, got my ultra sound done first.  My maturing follicle (the one in the right ovary) is measuring 17.2 mm and I was told that my uterus lining is measuring 8mm (which is really good). 

My blood work was something else...it was like a scene from a horror movie.  I usually get blood drawn in my left arm because when I do get blood done, it bruises my arm and sometimes even hurts.  So, I'd rather have a hurt up left arm than my dominant right arm. 

So the tech put in a needle and a tube, and go a small spattering of blood out of the left arm.  When it just stopped, she decided to dump the sample because it wouldn't be enough, and to go for the right arm which had a vein practically jumping out.  But... when she took out the needle, my arm decided to bleed.  Blood went rushing down my arm onto the floor, arm rest and chair.

I watched her clean up every spec of blood from the floor, chair and arm.  Hey, I'm not going to be the one leaving valuable DNA (evidence) around for anyone to use.  So, after she switched to the right arm, and used the butterfly needle (the one with the tube), it was fine. 

When the nurse called me later, she told me that my estradroid level was now at 205 (which is good).  While I had her on the phone, I asked her about the total set of follicles.  She told me that I had 26 total, but the only one close to maturity is the one that is now measuring 17.2mm.

I did some internet research and it is not a one to one relationship between follicles and eggs at ovulation.  It's the case that you could have 10 follicles and produce 15 eggs or vice versa.  Right now, I'm hoping to produce at least one egg.